"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out." ~ Roy Croft ~
This is a version of a quotation I remember from Wuthering Heights. I recall it saying something to the effect that "I love you not just because you are beautiful, but who I am when I am with you." Apologies to Emily Bronte for the paraphasing. Or to Mr. Croft for my memory crosswire. In any case, I value the sentiment.
Having ended a marriage nearly 17 years ago in which we (at the end) brought out only the worst in each other, for we could no longer see any good in the other: I think the ideal is a partnership in which you wish and try to provide or assist in gaining only the best for each other. It is both selfless and selfish at the same time. If you are happy and fulfilled, so am I. Or so it should be.
I would like to think that it is not too much to ask. I also like to think it is still possible.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Charlie Sheen, do you HEAR yourself? Get a grip!
The trials and tribulations of those in show biz do not keep usually me up at night, though I do occasionally shake my head as they make headlines for some new foible. I do feel sad in my heart for children run wrong by their exposure to the glare of the floodlight.
However, I find myself yelling "oh for heaven's good sake" (or the testy equivalent thereof ) about Charlie Sheen and his current gutter crawl, and, more than his actions, his recent words in which he seem to wonder what all the fuss it about.
Well let's see Charlie boy:
You have.....been charged with threatening your wife in the presence of your children, ..run riot in a NY hotel room a door or two away from your children, screaming threats and be all but incoherent when found, and then disparage the escort whom you paid to play because she dates men for money. ...partied in a stage of drug and/or alcohol intoxication until you collapsed in pain and have to have 911 called. Then you check into "rehab" ...at home . And let us not forget that you have been through real rehab before, and only because your father turned you in in order to save your life. You were (or said you were) grateful. You have since careened through the above behavior, and then, (and this is what makes me throw things at the television) call in to your buddy's radio show to whine when they shut down production on your television show,.which seemed to come as a surprise to you. Why was the door locked? Oh gee, I don't know, Charlie, perhaps because you are a public train wreck? I can only marvel at the gall you display when you said that sobriety does not set well with you, and that they should catch you while it lasts, as it may not be long. You also pointed, with pride, mind you, to your belief that you had never shown up for work drunk. Tired perhaps, but not drunk. Tired...is that what the current term is for the aftermath of a drug or alcohol fueled bacchanal? You marked it as the sign of the true pro that you made sure the stage directions called for you to lean on furniture to compensate. Are we the only ones who think you are becoming your tragic/comedic series character in what passes for your real life?
OK, Charlie, either you are a better actor than I gave you credit for, and the recent radio comments are all said in jest, or you are clueless as to the irony. If you were kidding, and realize what a mess you are, why do you not DO something about it? If you ain't kidding, you are one more bad party away from killing yourself , or doing something to someone else that will land you in jail. And what of whomever you do whatever it is to?
You are a mess, Charlie..one huge, pathetic, hanging on by one fingernail, careless mess. You are not a charming rascal. You are a sot. Shut the hell up , go away, and get some help. No one wants to hear another story that includes , you, a party, drugs, alcohol, escorts, adult film stars .....because we are all sure that you are only one such episode away from the next story being your obit.
If you really think that sobriety does not sit well with you, do you think that death becomes you? If you are beyond caring about that, then try (if only for the briefest of moments) to think of just whom you might be taking with you.
They locked the doors because they do not want to continue to support your rapid decline by providing employment. The public should stop watching you for the same reason.
However, I find myself yelling "oh for heaven's good sake" (or the testy equivalent thereof ) about Charlie Sheen and his current gutter crawl, and, more than his actions, his recent words in which he seem to wonder what all the fuss it about.
Well let's see Charlie boy:
You have.....been charged with threatening your wife in the presence of your children, ..run riot in a NY hotel room a door or two away from your children, screaming threats and be all but incoherent when found, and then disparage the escort whom you paid to play because she dates men for money. ...partied in a stage of drug and/or alcohol intoxication until you collapsed in pain and have to have 911 called. Then you check into "rehab" ...at home . And let us not forget that you have been through real rehab before, and only because your father turned you in in order to save your life. You were (or said you were) grateful. You have since careened through the above behavior, and then, (and this is what makes me throw things at the television) call in to your buddy's radio show to whine when they shut down production on your television show,.which seemed to come as a surprise to you. Why was the door locked? Oh gee, I don't know, Charlie, perhaps because you are a public train wreck? I can only marvel at the gall you display when you said that sobriety does not set well with you, and that they should catch you while it lasts, as it may not be long. You also pointed, with pride, mind you, to your belief that you had never shown up for work drunk. Tired perhaps, but not drunk. Tired...is that what the current term is for the aftermath of a drug or alcohol fueled bacchanal? You marked it as the sign of the true pro that you made sure the stage directions called for you to lean on furniture to compensate. Are we the only ones who think you are becoming your tragic/comedic series character in what passes for your real life?
OK, Charlie, either you are a better actor than I gave you credit for, and the recent radio comments are all said in jest, or you are clueless as to the irony. If you were kidding, and realize what a mess you are, why do you not DO something about it? If you ain't kidding, you are one more bad party away from killing yourself , or doing something to someone else that will land you in jail. And what of whomever you do whatever it is to?
You are a mess, Charlie..one huge, pathetic, hanging on by one fingernail, careless mess. You are not a charming rascal. You are a sot. Shut the hell up , go away, and get some help. No one wants to hear another story that includes , you, a party, drugs, alcohol, escorts, adult film stars .....because we are all sure that you are only one such episode away from the next story being your obit.
If you really think that sobriety does not sit well with you, do you think that death becomes you? If you are beyond caring about that, then try (if only for the briefest of moments) to think of just whom you might be taking with you.
They locked the doors because they do not want to continue to support your rapid decline by providing employment. The public should stop watching you for the same reason.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
My baby is moving away!
A clarification. Both of my children moved away a number of years ago. Each moved to Seattle to go to college, and never moved home. My youngest is now moving to New York , which for some reason, feels like she is realllly moving away. My guess is that I have gotten so comfortable with Seattle, and them both living there, that this change seems so big.
It was a big deal when we moved my eldest onto campus, coming on ten years ago.. However, she was only "away at school", came home for summer holidays, and I had a high school student at home to occupy my thoughts. My eldest got work, stopped coming home other than for Christmas, and my youngest eventually followed her to school. My youngest never came home for summer, so when she left, I truly had an empty nest. However, I became accustomed to going up to see them and, after so many years, know my way around their neighborhood. When I visited, I could see them both.
Now my youngest has graduated from the university , and after a few months of continuing to work at the job she has had through her time at school, has decided to seek her future and fortunes in New York by joining her best friend there. It is, in fact, farther away--about 2,000 miles farther. It also is relatively unfamiliar territory for me. I have been in New York twice, (briefly)but more as a tourist than as a visitor of any length of time. Now that my girl is getting on a plane tomorrow night (snow and God willing) it seems even farther and unknown.
Mind you, this is a kid who can more than take care of herself in any city, probably better than I. It will be an exciting adventure while she figures out if NY is for her, and see if she can find gainful enough employment to pay rent, and to be happy in her newly chosen home. It is her mother who is dealing with continental separation anxiety.
If she does take up long time residence there, I will no doubt visit. Over time, I will be able to find my way about. If she does not stay, she will likely end up back in Seattle . Which would not break either my or her sister's heart, but only if it was what she really wanted. In the end, if she is happy, we will be. We just need to adjust. Eventually.
It was a big deal when we moved my eldest onto campus, coming on ten years ago.. However, she was only "away at school", came home for summer holidays, and I had a high school student at home to occupy my thoughts. My eldest got work, stopped coming home other than for Christmas, and my youngest eventually followed her to school. My youngest never came home for summer, so when she left, I truly had an empty nest. However, I became accustomed to going up to see them and, after so many years, know my way around their neighborhood. When I visited, I could see them both.
Now my youngest has graduated from the university , and after a few months of continuing to work at the job she has had through her time at school, has decided to seek her future and fortunes in New York by joining her best friend there. It is, in fact, farther away--about 2,000 miles farther. It also is relatively unfamiliar territory for me. I have been in New York twice, (briefly)but more as a tourist than as a visitor of any length of time. Now that my girl is getting on a plane tomorrow night (snow and God willing) it seems even farther and unknown.
Mind you, this is a kid who can more than take care of herself in any city, probably better than I. It will be an exciting adventure while she figures out if NY is for her, and see if she can find gainful enough employment to pay rent, and to be happy in her newly chosen home. It is her mother who is dealing with continental separation anxiety.
If she does take up long time residence there, I will no doubt visit. Over time, I will be able to find my way about. If she does not stay, she will likely end up back in Seattle . Which would not break either my or her sister's heart, but only if it was what she really wanted. In the end, if she is happy, we will be. We just need to adjust. Eventually.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
At last!
In the wake of the Tucson tragedy, the Arizona legislature passed emergency meaures which will bar the Westboro Bapist Church from picketing the funerals of the victims with their hate-filled messages. It will always remain beyond my capacity to comprehend the ability of these people to dare to say they speak for God when they say that such deaths are His judgement upon our country for tolerating (if this country can be said as a whole so to tolerate) homosexuality. That they could dare to spew such hate-filled garbage at the bereaved and tell them that God laughs over the deaths and that the deaths are His vengence on "fag-loving" America is rage-inducing. All of which they were more than ready to do at the funeral of a 9 year old girl who died standing in line to meet her Congresswoman. Why He doesn't smite them down, I will never know. If anyone deserved it, they do. But Luther tells us that we do not get the punishment we deserve, but rather, the salvation that we do not.
Surely the fact that these hate-filled people have not burst into flames is proof enough of God's tolerance.
Surely the fact that these hate-filled people have not burst into flames is proof enough of God's tolerance.
Monday, January 10, 2011
The First Post of 2011, and a sad one
I am very sad to say that my first post of 2011 is one of a tragedy. The newscasts are labeling it "Tragedy in Tucson." A madman shot up a crowd gathered to meet their Congresswoman, in his attempt to kill her and any nearby. The Congresswoman fights for her life having been shot in the head, a half dozen are dead, including a 9 year old born on 9/11/01. Heartbreaking. And angering. It is clear that this 20-something man was scary enough to be kicked out of college and sent for psychological examination, but still could buy a semi automatic handgun, with monster multi-load clips. Let's hear it for the freedom to bear arms. The local sheriff decried the vitriol and level of heated rhetoric which he felt could have contributed to this man acting out. I am not sure of that, but I am sure we can do better than the way we have been exchanging views. And we can each accept our own ability to change the tone. When criticized for her comments about responding to opposition in cute sayings that included the word "reload", and targeting congressional districts (including that of the Congresswoman in Tucson)with the use of crosshairs in a map, Sarah Palin protested that she never meant the symbols to be from a rifle, but "Crosshairs like on a map" Oh please. When someone says, "I have them in my crosshairs", they ain't talking about no map. I do not blame Palin for this young man's actions, but to try to deny the imagery she has invoked is just plain bull crap.
It angers me even more than when something like this happens, anti-gun control groups come out in force to wail that now the gun control fanatics will try to use the tragedy to further their cause. You think? How would you expect them to react, when this is the very thing they fear. Good old AZ allows any and all to carry, and it did not help here, did it? There actually was an armed citizen nearby, but it was too late by the time he could react. Madmen are madmen, and we have to make it harder for them to arm themselves. Like the Virginia Tech student, there were clear signs that he was not in his right mind, yet the ease with which he could arm himself is alarming. At the time, there were those who blamed the campus's being a gun free zone, saying perhaps the kids could have protected themselves. That's a great idea, folks, let's have a shoot out at the OK Corral, and see who remains standing when it is all done.
There is nothing so portable, nor so deadly, especially in the hands of an unbalanced mind.
It angers me even more than when something like this happens, anti-gun control groups come out in force to wail that now the gun control fanatics will try to use the tragedy to further their cause. You think? How would you expect them to react, when this is the very thing they fear. Good old AZ allows any and all to carry, and it did not help here, did it? There actually was an armed citizen nearby, but it was too late by the time he could react. Madmen are madmen, and we have to make it harder for them to arm themselves. Like the Virginia Tech student, there were clear signs that he was not in his right mind, yet the ease with which he could arm himself is alarming. At the time, there were those who blamed the campus's being a gun free zone, saying perhaps the kids could have protected themselves. That's a great idea, folks, let's have a shoot out at the OK Corral, and see who remains standing when it is all done.
There is nothing so portable, nor so deadly, especially in the hands of an unbalanced mind.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Happy (almost) New Year!
It has been way too long since I have posted. My Christmas was fine, thank you, and better than that, so was the Christmas my two daughters had, despite (different) changing circumstances in their lives. One is now looking for work while in grad school, the other is moving to New York. Adventures all, and a little nerve-wracking for the Mom who only wants her children to be well and happy. So far, so good.
In any case, 2011 here we come. In some ways it will be very different, in other ways, much the same. I just got my latest letter to the editor printed in my local rag. I got ticked off by a doctor (and MD already!) who scoffed at hunger programs as being unnecesary because he had no hungry knocking at his door, nor did he see anyone dying of starvation. Hard to see what one does not look for, and as to knocking, they are likely locked out of his gated community in San Clemente. E tu, Mr. Antoinette?
I have this last week of the year off, and am using it to get a few things done...getting my (now paid-for) car painted, clearing out closets, de-decorating, trying a couple of new recipes. All this made easier by not worrying about work (not too much, anyway) and its immediate demands. House-cleaning for the mind , too. I will be taking out a dead rose tree, with an eye to replacing it with a new one. Metaphor for my internal life too? Not so much New Year's resolutions, as end of year clean out and garage sale of the mind. You don't have to wait for a New Year, but having a little time to bum around lends itself to doing a few things for yourself, inside and out. Having a few less things on your mind allows you to spend more time on a few select items.
So, take a deep breath-clear out the debris (from your car, closet, or mind) and have a Happy New Year!
In any case, 2011 here we come. In some ways it will be very different, in other ways, much the same. I just got my latest letter to the editor printed in my local rag. I got ticked off by a doctor (and MD already!) who scoffed at hunger programs as being unnecesary because he had no hungry knocking at his door, nor did he see anyone dying of starvation. Hard to see what one does not look for, and as to knocking, they are likely locked out of his gated community in San Clemente. E tu, Mr. Antoinette?
I have this last week of the year off, and am using it to get a few things done...getting my (now paid-for) car painted, clearing out closets, de-decorating, trying a couple of new recipes. All this made easier by not worrying about work (not too much, anyway) and its immediate demands. House-cleaning for the mind , too. I will be taking out a dead rose tree, with an eye to replacing it with a new one. Metaphor for my internal life too? Not so much New Year's resolutions, as end of year clean out and garage sale of the mind. You don't have to wait for a New Year, but having a little time to bum around lends itself to doing a few things for yourself, inside and out. Having a few less things on your mind allows you to spend more time on a few select items.
So, take a deep breath-clear out the debris (from your car, closet, or mind) and have a Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
The Charlie Browniest
This has been a somewhat tense week, mostly because of what I let myself get all tangled up about. Work stuff, (new responsibilities with not enough information/clear explanation) Christmas list stuff (it is not easy being head elf of the family) and other miscellaneous brain fryers. And don't ask me about driving in Arizona.
It is difficult to get into the spirit of the season with a knot in your stomach. It also magnifies other more minor irritations to beyond their normal range.
However, some things about the Christmas remain the same. Advent calendars, advent wreaths, chocolate. And then there is "Charlie Brown's Christmas". The kids who voiced the gang must be nearly 50 now, what with it having done in the 60's, but I still love the music and the sentiment. I also am on "Christmas Carol" watch. I am in charge of letting everyone know when the various versions of the movie will air. My brother and I just love them,though I think his favorite is "Scrooged" with Bill Murray. We have already seen that one this year. I also am waiting for the perfect time to watch my all time favorite Christmas themed movie, "Love Actually."
Tonight, I am watching Charlie Brown Christmas, and am soon to heat me up some hot chocolate. Next up is Very Glee Christmas. Talk about your juxtapositions.
Anyway, the point (and I do have one) is that the everyday stresses and strains should not put the Christmas spirit on the back burner. Old traditions, new traditions, observe them all and enjoy that eggnog and hot chocolate, sometimes with a drop of brandy thrown in. And don't forget Toys for Tots, Sparks of Love, and all your food pantries. Any problems you have with work should remind you to be grateful that the HAVE work. If you've got, give.
Goooooo Christmas!
It is difficult to get into the spirit of the season with a knot in your stomach. It also magnifies other more minor irritations to beyond their normal range.
However, some things about the Christmas remain the same. Advent calendars, advent wreaths, chocolate. And then there is "Charlie Brown's Christmas". The kids who voiced the gang must be nearly 50 now, what with it having done in the 60's, but I still love the music and the sentiment. I also am on "Christmas Carol" watch. I am in charge of letting everyone know when the various versions of the movie will air. My brother and I just love them,though I think his favorite is "Scrooged" with Bill Murray. We have already seen that one this year. I also am waiting for the perfect time to watch my all time favorite Christmas themed movie, "Love Actually."
Tonight, I am watching Charlie Brown Christmas, and am soon to heat me up some hot chocolate. Next up is Very Glee Christmas. Talk about your juxtapositions.
Anyway, the point (and I do have one) is that the everyday stresses and strains should not put the Christmas spirit on the back burner. Old traditions, new traditions, observe them all and enjoy that eggnog and hot chocolate, sometimes with a drop of brandy thrown in. And don't forget Toys for Tots, Sparks of Love, and all your food pantries. Any problems you have with work should remind you to be grateful that the HAVE work. If you've got, give.
Goooooo Christmas!
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