I forced myself to get up early this Saturday, in order to watch my beloved Wimbledon. It has been a very long week at work, with long days and impossible deadlines, and more tasks than any one person can do. I am weary of others telling me, "well, I am out of the office (on vacation, on the road, at a conference...) so I need you to handle this". Meanwhile I have a stack of things that must be done before I go on vacation, that I despair of getting done, and have no idea who or how to train someone to be the back up for the backup girl. See job description, " maid of all work," and then some.
So, I got up, tired, and watched the Women's final ( you go, Serena!) and tried to perk up. Then the Men's Doubles( no Bryan brothers, sigh.) and mostly felt like I just wanted to go back to sleep. Two days off from work means I don't have to answer the phone or email, but I need to get a couple of work things done in order to be able to face a week of crushing volume and short deadlines.
And the world is not a pretty place this week. Two young black men were shot by police in, to say the very least, questionable circumstances, which were videoed. Not surprisingly, protests rose up. One in Dallas was seemingly under control under the carefully watchful eyes of the Dallas police. Then some idiot ( not the right word, it will come to me) started shooting the Dallas police force. As if that helps police all over the country be less likely to shoot first and ask questions later of the next black young men they stop. It is so very sad( again, not a strong enough word) that families of color have to instruct their sons on how to carefully react to a police stop, however unjustified, so that they may live. And I am infuriated that some knee-jerk jerk's first reaction is that if they only had followed direction, if only they were respectful, and on and on, ad nauseum. Really! You think not following directions is the issue here?
I try to remind myself that my problems are not life threatening, and the state of the world is something I can do my best to change by my attitude, by my words, by who I elect.
Then I made myself some strong tea and French toast and ate my spirit up a notch. And again remind myself that my personal problems are not life and death, that I am in position to make a dent. Not a huge dent, but a dent. By my words, spoken and written , by my support of those who can make a bigger difference than I can on my own. Certainly by speaking out against the hate and fear. Even if it is only with my letters to the editor. Someone will see them, maybe someone will think.
One starfish at a time.
