A notice to my fellow Christians

I am posting this here, instead of Facebook, because I am not quite sure what the consequences would be, nor if I am ready to reap them. However I just have to say:

Those of my Christian friends who feel that the recent Supreme Court ruling declaring the right of same sex couples to marry is a blow against religious freedom: do not expect sympathy or support from me if you post about your fear that the great Gay Agenda will cause long lines in front of your church ready to sue your pastor or church if you refuse to host their wedding. I also do not need your patriotic posts reminding me of the Christian faith of the Founding  Fathers.

I also do not need posts of pastors explaining to all of good faith to bear with this challenge and love the sinner, if not the sin.  How very good of you to lump in a person's sexuality with all those other amoral sins.  I sure all my gay friends and family will rush to church now that you have explained it is just another sin to be cleansed of.

Lastly, if you want to drive me from the church, please post that pastor's 40 questions to ask we wrong  headed Christians to demonstrate to us chapter and verse why homosexuality is against God's  Law and Christ's teachings.  I am not interested in a Biblical throw down.  What do you really expect the result to be?  I will say, oh silly me, there are those verses that prove that all these people are wrong and should either switch sides or be celebate...and I am to support them?

I am a Christian because I believe His death saved me by Grace.  I believe that to be the central teaching of the Bible.  If you persist with quoting me chapter and verse  as  to why I should turn my back on same sex couples, and fear or undermine their right to marry, be careful what you wish for.  I will have to say that I reject the teaching of the Bible and therefore be an unchurched Christian if there is such a thing

What I really want to say is. Get the hell over it, and get out of the way. Cluck and tsk amongst yourselves if you must.  But if you persist in doing your best to convince me that I am not good Christian if I accept homosexuality and the rights of gays to marriage, then maybe I need to leave the church as you define it.

Mother's Day and other maternal rewards.

Just about the time I was feeling sorry for myself that my daughters live 1000 and 3000 miles from me, and would not be near for Mother's Day, lovely flowers arrived.  They were accompanied by a sweet note wishing a great day from " way too far away."  Same daughter made a touching post to Instagram about her having sympathy for all the rest of the world ( with the exception of her  sister) who cannot claim me as mother.

My other daughter included in her ( handwritten no less) thank you for her birthday gifts a thank you for me being me and being a great supportive understanding Mom.  She said when she thought of me and how she would likely grow up much like me, she was all right with that.

I wanted to get my superhero cape out of mothballs.

These are things you hope for.  That your children not only love you back, but think that you were a good mother to them. Praise like that will take you through a lot of worry and concern that comes with the role.

Habits of a lifetime.

Anyone with any self awareness knows they are flawed. We work on improvement, deflect said self awareness with humor, forgive yourself, but don't ignore.

I am a talker. Have been since birth, if you asked my father, though my mother insists it was after 18 months that I stopped being shy with strangers.. Hoo boy has that ship sailed!   I chat up people in the grocery  store, in line at Disneyland, and (God help them ) people next to me in planes.  Many find me charming, some no doubt wish I would just hush the heck up. I try to discern early on of which camp they are and restrain myself,  

As I grow older I try not to be that one who goes on and on.  Unfortunately I do not always succeed, espcially when in the company of loved ones.  My kids occasionally remind me that I have indeed told the story before, or asked that question before.  My family makes jokes about no one getting a word in edgewise, laugh about stories I tell on myself about talking to someone somewhere.  I like to think that I have matured and mellowed, but...

Even at 60, no one wants to be thought of as trying or needing to be borne with out of love.  We all do it for others we love, but would not say so to the person we are bearing with, because we love them.  I guess we realize that others do it for us, but really don't want to know it.

Some self awareness is less desirable than other.  I wonder if it is even possible to change enough for the narrative to be different.  Even if I could curb a habit of 60 ( well  58 1/2 to be precise) years, my lifelong reputation precedes me..  If I were suddenly less talkative it would either be noticed and cause wonder at my anger or my illness...or (unless I went completely mute) not be noted due to the expectation that I would be speaking soon anyway.  Or something like that.  

In any case, I am not opposed to working on my flaws, but I do wonder if I have the capacity to stay focussed enough to retrain myself sufficiently to change perception. Especially of the people who love me, and have learned to bear with me.   Which I wish I didn't know. 

Arrogance or ignorance?

To vaccinate or not to vaccinate has become a national debate, due to the recent outbreak of measles that began at D land.  Some parents have not shaken the fear brought on by the now discredited study that linked vaccines to autism, and the anecdotal "evidence " by those whose children have had reactions or what they believe to be damage due to the vaccines they received.  I don't think any logic is going to dissuade those parents. (I know that some children are truly allergic to the vaccines or immune compromised and cannot be vaccinated, and they depend on the rest of us to keep them safe.)

 However, the argument against vaccines that infuriates me to the point of wanting to reach into the newspaper or Internet and shake the perpetrators,  is the one that makes the claim that vaccines are no longer needed, because the diseases involved have been irradicated ....and that the diseases only persist in"third world countries."  What exactly do they think brought us to this point?  Magic? God's will?  Clean living?  How about vaccines and modern medicine?  One mother, even when brought to the facts said that she felt her children were strong enough to survive the illnesses because they were well fed and got plenty of sleep. She preferred to raise them in a more "natural and organic" way. I imagine that there was not a more natural and organic way of life that our early days of family farms.  Yet the infant and toddler mortality rate was far higher than now.  Children died of diphtheria, tetnus, pneumonia, measles, smallpox....all now preventable.

The parents who think that their children are safe enough in our "first world" country are  eroding the very herd immunity that they rely on, and bringing doom to the weaker population like the infants or elderly who cannot survive the disease that their "healthy"child may pass to them as they survive it.

Worse than this misguided way of thinking is the idea that those that can survive the diease will survive due to their strength, health, and good genes, and those who don't fulfill Darwnian theory.  I actually read one man's opinion that you are either immune or you are not.  You die or you don't.  Good God.  The "the hell with the rest of you " theory of living in society.  Like that man, I have several people in my ancestry that lived long lives in times when many died in infancy.  That never caused me to think I was singled out by nature for special consideration.  I cannot believe that if his child stepped in a rusty nail or was bitten by a rabid dog that he would tell them that if they were strong enough that they would survive it.

Willful ignorance or such arrogance is all well and good if you chose only for yourself or (Lord help them) your children.  But choose  to endanger the weaker because you are sure your kids are stronger than any formerly eradicated disease, and it becomes our business.  Unless you intend to home school your children or never take them to a theme park, you are a threat and an invitation to these former scourges of childhood to return with a vengeance.

2015, already? And missing my girls.

First of all, what the hell happened to 2014?  Thanksgiving and Christmas AND New Years has come and gone.  Sheesh!  

I watched a TV show tonight in which the lead character had been at odds with her post college age daughter, and they reconciled in a scene that ended in a hug. The way the Mom hugged her daughter, strongly and at length made me miss my girls and their hugs.  It has been too long.  We talk, and that helps, but just now I miss their physical proximity.  Thank goodness I will see them both in a bit over two months.  A meeting of our three minds to further plans for my eldest's September wedding. I am really looking forward to hugging them at length. I miss my baby girls,