Vin Scully and my Dad...the sounds of summer

These days, Memorial weekend is an observance, a time to be grateful for my life and the sacrifices of those who came before me. It also marks the coming of summer. One signpost for this tennis fan is the French Open, which is followed by my much loved Wimbledon in midsummer, and at summer's conclusion is the US Open. When I was young, I knew it was summer when I awoke to the sounds of my father mowing the lawn in the cool of the morning, and when dinner was on the patio to the voice of Vin Scully on the radio, calling the Dodgers game and singing the praises of "Far-mer John" . Daddy would barbeque, and we would sit out in the warm evening eating ribs and corn on the cob. Sometimes, when I walk out in a cool morning of what promises to be a hot day, espeically if there is a lawn mower running in the distance, I get that feeling of being out of school for the summer and of all that used to mean. Even now, listening to Vin Scully (still) call the Dodgers' home game I am taken back home to the patio on Stagg Street, and the how special summer was to that little girl who still lives in me. Happy Memorial Day, Daddy. I miss you.

How did we get there from here?

How did this happen? How did we come to a place where a man who said (out loud, I heard it) that contraception is dangerous, and said that a woman should accept a pregnancy that resulted from a rape as a " gift from God" could be considered a viable candidate for President of our country? I have noticed ( not the first, of course) that human behavior has a history of patterns of pendulum swings of action and reaction...as in reactionary. The Victorian Era followed by the Roaring 20's, the placid and conservative 50's and then the swinging 60's, civil rights movement, women's rights, etc. Clinton followed by Bush, followed by Obama. Sometimes you just can't take it anymore.

It frightens me that the current reaction is to call our president a Marxist, most of the Democratic party leftist , Communist, socialist, and to suggest that contraception for women is an optional party-favor that is the equivalent of a free ride to recreational sex at the public's expense if it is part of a health plan. Worse than that, a candidate that has been a serial liar and adulterer, and accused of fraud, protested in indignation that anyone should raise the subject of his suspect integrity. When did the Republican party come to be represented by such dreck? And why are people listening?

Did we women folk get too far out of the kitchen? Did we get too ambitious in who we elected? Did too many of "those people who are not like us" get too much power, or get too damned comfortable amongst us living their lives that are not like ours? I think perhaps too many people got too darned accepting. In fear, we passed a national law defining marriage in a way to make sure it excluded those other people. Churches who have allowed gay clergy find congregations leaving their denominations in protest. We made the mistake of making people's comfortable lives uncomfortable by acceptance of things they not only don't accept, and don't want others to accept, they don't want to have to see.

Freedom of religion has come to mean attempting to force others to conform to your world view, or at least doing your damnedest to make sure they cannot live their own.

I would say watch out for the reaction, but it already happening. Young people are disgusted by those who claim to speak for Christianity. They don't speak for all, but they are heard the loudest.

Likewise those that think it is their place to dictate when and if a woman gives birth, and or access to birth control. This is progress?

How did this happen? How did we let it?

How do we stop it?

Oh how I told you so..and other matters.

I was re-reading my recent posts, and chanced upon my comment about having had it up to my eyeballs with "news" stories about Kim K and her wedding, and the pending marriage that I predicted would not last 2 years. Whoa, talk about over estimation. 72 days...what a trouper!  Lord I could be just fine with NEVER hearing the name Kardashian again.

Another matter which is on my mind is the complete lack of irony or self awareness with which  many of the more conservative candidates and pundits are pronouncing  as an "attack on religious freedom"and an "attack on the constitution" the Obama healthcare mandate that religious organizations pay for contraception. Why is it an attack on the constitution for that, and  yet a moral imperative to prevent contraception or abortion to those in need of same because your religious beliefs prohibit it? We are fast approaching retracting women's freedom of individual choice back into the dark ages because the more conservative are gaining ground. I am no fan of abortion. I would hope these pregnancies could be prevented rather than ended. However, that is between that woman and God. Besides which, who can know the situation. It is not for us to legislate her moral and religious choices. Likewise, the cry to "preserve marriage" and family from the spectre of two people of the same sex marrying one another.I am Christian too, and I see very little in Christ's teaching that worried itself about that. Better we should feed the poor and care for one another and honor God.  I weary of those who would insert themsleves in other people's family lives, but see no irony in protesting when others do so against their own beliefs.

I think we could all much better spend our time feeding the poor than trying to interfere in others' private lives.

OC and the not anti gay Christians

The ever reliable letter section of my local paper aired out the reaction of Christians who took exception to a somewhat snarky piece that ran a few days before in which one of the few liberal  writers took to task the support groups who seek to assist gay youth to turn away from their homosexuality. The writer used the hot button term "pray the gay away, " and suggested that they shamed the kids in their care. She had a point, but could have approached it better without the cliche. (However, that is the phrase that more than one gay person I know have used to dismiss those who think it can be done)

One letter writer, part of a support group for the parents of gay children, stated that it is unfair to categorize all Christians as anti-gay. True that, I and my church are here to say.  She also said that both she, her group and God, loved gay people.

However, she went on to say that they prayed for the children because they knew that this was not God's plan for them. Moreover, that we are all sinners, and God loves us all nonetheless.   Here is the sticking point. Yes, we are all sinners. However, neither I nor the many gay young people of my acquaintance believe that the mere fact of their sexuality makes them sinners. They do not appreciate being prayed for because an essential part of who they are is "not in God's plan."  They cannot belong to a church that thinks they are sinners for which sex they are attracted to.  It is rather like saying "you are (fill in the blank--Black, blond, Asian, female, whatever) , but I can overlook that and love you as God loves you anyway" . And by the way, I will pray for you. Thanks, but no thanks.

She also spoke of the struggle that many of the gay children had with their sexuality , and likened it to the struggle of addicts with drugs and alcohol.   Many may struggle with defining their sexuality, this is true. Some take a while to figure out where their sexual identity falls. However, she made clear that this was a struggle against a demon that some "conquered" and went on to hetrosexual marriages, and some who managed it by leading chaste lives. I suggest that some of those who struggle do so because they are told that their sexuality is a sin and against God's plan, and (obviously) distressing to the Christian family that loves them.   

I cannot hope to change their minds, but I can hope to help them better understand why their more compassionate position is not perceived by gay youth as appreciably different from those who merely shake their fingers.

Worry and other bug a boos

Halloween is a time for things go bump in the night, and other such hauntings. It is also nearing the end of a business year, and quotas not met yet lurk in dark corners like Mal's Wild things, or better described, the bogey man (men) .  I work hard, and always aim to exceed expectations, am not satisfied when I only meet them, and obsess when I cannot, or have not met them.

I do not work well scared. I thrive on encouragement , and praise for what I do right. Prodding me about what I have not accomplished, and brushing aside what I have makes me worry.  I do not do anxious well. It makes it hard for me to concentrate on  anything else, distracted by the little black cloud hovering over my shoulder.

In this economy one would be foolish not to be focussed on keeping their job. However I am thinking it is not healthy to live  in fear of losing it.  In fairness, I do not feel like this every moment, especially when I am exercising my sales skills with a client or prospect, but often enough (especially as the year comes to a close with too few new prospects lined up) for it  to be more than distracting. Not so much at work, but away from it. Which is precisely when I can do little about it.  I do not like to write of such concerns in this blog. I more enjoy airing my considerable array of opinions. Also, I imagine some things do not need to be of record.  However, I am pretty darned sure no one is reading this thing but me, and airing this this out (not so much in public, but out of my head) helps.

It is the weekend. My work is done until Monday. Tomorrow, (or the day after the day after tomorrow) is another day, and I can get to it then. That surely is true (I know, it is true, and don't call me Shirley) and now I have to do it convince the little grey foggy fellow who is hovering nearby.

On the other hand, the fiance of Chad Ochocinco did not make the cast of Dancing With the Stars.  Don't get me started on who did.  Actually, Carson Kressley is somewhat of a celeb, and I guess you could call Nancy Grace reasonably well known (though not, in my mind, for good reason) . Unfortunately, neither can dance. And neither can Chaz ( he who is massively over weight, has bad knees and can barely get around the dance floor-however brave he may be in his life choices)  Bono. The best dancers are JR and Ricki Lake. Both not BIG stars, but on TV in recognizable shows, I must admit. JR has as heroic story as anyone, and he can actually dance, bless him.

I digress, but that is the point of tonight's essay, to head in another direction, vs running (well trotting at a brisk pace) scared. Running is fine, but in the direction of progress, not in fear of loss or failure.

Besides, it got me writing again, and that is a handy skill to have. I read my prior posts and am encouraged that I have a decent turn of phrase.  A little bit of ego is good for the resolve, and for courage.

Famous for being famous, once removed: DWTS edition

OK, here is where I admit that I am a fan of Dancing with the Stars. From the first season, prior to which I thought it was a terrible idea (I thought it would be like Skating with Celebrities turned out to be), I was hooked once I watched. Each season, I would figure that the latest mix of knowns and not-so-knowns (at least to me) would not generate the interest of the previous season. Many a time I would wonder who at least a couple of the so-called celebs were. Yet, I often ended up a fan of one of the lesser knowns, and was usually wrong about the lesser interest.

I do wonder, however, about the rumored roster of "stars" of the season fast approaching. I am now accustomed to there being the requisite sports star, "reality star," older star...but the latest rumors include in the potential line up (I kid you not) the brother of a reality star ( a male Kardashian...I did not know there was one living) the fiancee' of a sports star (she the betrothed of Chad Ochochino, who danced a season or so ago) and, (can you get further removed) the former girlfriend of George Clooney. Can you say stretch credulity, boys and girls?...Of course, it is all speculation ( like the rumor that Queen Latifah was going to be on, currently and unfortunately being denied by QL herself) but Great Googly Smoogly, how broadly CAN you define a term like star? A relative of a "sort of" star? The fiancee' of a football player? The one time girlfriend of a movie star? Hoo boy. I guess too many of the REAL stars like Queen L said no darned way.

I mean, realllllly, now. The brother of a reality "star?" I didn't know there was was a boy in that family (and no, step father Bruce does not count..here or there) and reality star (I am having trouble with that star thing--I know all about building a brand, but didn't that used to mean you were SOMEbody first, and built that brand on that rep? How did we morph to the place where you build a brand from BEING a brand?? Marketing genius, I must admit, but still it annoys me beyond reason) Kim K is a minor constellation in my book , despite her mongo  wedding preps being all that dominate the entertainment news these days...PS, Access Hollywood, Entertainment tonight, and all your kin, I will be doing yoga during your alloted hour until you shut the living heck up about Kimmy and her momzilla and the ceremony for a marriage that I will bet you good money will not last past 2 years. But I digress.  To conclude this opinion piece on the notion that DWTS should be renamed "DWTS and their assorted hanger's-on".

To be fair, the actual cast remains to be seen. I am, however, wagering that a huge portion of America will stand as one and say "WHO?" upon the introductions of the "stars" this season. I am confident I will. 

The two definitions of "con"

Con: short for convict..often used in context of a former prisoner..as in  "ex con". Con is also used as a verb, being derived from the term "confidence man" To con someone is to gain their confidence and then swindle them. Sometimes the two uses of the word come together, as they surely do in the person of Barry Minkow. His latest fall from grace angers me, more than anything else because of his current expressions of remorse and self loathing. Not only do they ring hollow, they ring of familiarity .  It is the same song he sang when he wrote his first book about his prior fall and redemption.

He ran a con and money laundering outfit via his boy genius company ZZZZ Best in my childhood Reseda. He got caught , went to jail, found God and started a prison ministry. When released, he was given an opportunity to make good by two different churches, becoming the Senior Pastor of the second one. He wrote several more books, the latest of which having to do with how to avoid being defrauded, conned or swindled. He became, for all appearances, obsessed with catching other frauds. He started his own fraud squad (while still head of his church) and financed it by taking stock positions against the companies he was exposing. That part had me wondering if he was wandering near the edge.  Well, near the edge and off the cliff he was. He has been arrested and confessed to a number of charges of fraud and attempted extortion, even, if I understand correctly, stock manipulation. Better than all that, he used church funds (by forging documentation) to finance his dealings. 

Several stories have run in the local papers. He is quoted more than once beating his breast in self denigration, on how he blew it big time. You think, Barry?  You think? You used the office of the church to  cloak yourself in an air of redemption and respectability. You made a fortune of trumpeting your second chance, and then you blew that second chance to smithereens.

In what I believe to be  the ultimate example of irony, he was quoted in the paper in a story about a movie producer who is accused of taking production money to make indie films, and then pocketing much of it without producing the goods. He made what I can only term a vanity film with Minkow, which failed to come to light of day. Minkow called another investor and warned him against the producer. I guess you can't con a con, right? Or it takes one to know one.

Go to jail, Barry. And when you get out, I hope you go straight...but I don't want to hear about it. Not another book, not another movie, not another remorseful word. If your ego can handle it.