Realizing a couple of things.

 I came here to say what I had realized about my former husband, whom I usually spend zero time in any given week thinking about, having divorced him over a quarter of a century ago.  

I was distracted by that last two posts I made, which were 3 and 2 years ago. One was about my doctor, who is now leaving the practice.  The other was about my retirement, which had just begun. The good news is that I’m quite used to it now, having been assured by my financial lady that I will not run out of money. I miss bringing in new money, but am glad I was so diligent about saving for my retirement, which came sooner than expected. 

So, what I came here to note. I am reading Alan Cumming’s book Not My Father’s Son.  It is, in large part, about his father’s abusive ways. Somewhere along the way I realized that my ex was angry and emotionally abusive with and to those whom he thought could do nothing about it. He was a weak person, with no well of empathy or caring to draw upon. His father (actually his stepfather since he was three, although he did not know until he was 18, and never met his biological father) felt no kinship with him, and displayed primarily contempt for his wife, my former mother-in-law.  He led her to believe she had no choice but to stay with him. She believed him, but exacted her passive-aggressive bride price in her constant victimhood. She was not nurturing, and her son continued his stepfather’s contempt. 

He became toxic once there were any challenges or demands.  He resented me as his family resented each other.  Once I realized what I was modeling for my daughters, I divorced him. He was emotionally abusive to them until they were able to distance themselves.  I didn’t recognize it as weakness until now. He struck out at whomever he thought had no choice  Once we all exercised our choices, he had no power left.  Fortunately, my daughters (although he did some damage) are strong, and whole.  We won.  

The Doctor I wrote about.

 The doctor I wrote about in 2018, whom I was none to fond of, continued to be less than nurturing.  I kept swearing I was going to change, but never quite got to it, prior to the pandemic. I managed to get done what I mostly needed, but ran into a billing problem for annual blood tests because of a lack of diagnostic codes on the work request. I had to call back and forth between Medicare, the lab billing people, and my doctor’s office at length over weeks, and was not amused by the lack of substantive response from the office. I swore I would change doctors as soon as the billing was settled. Then I had mammograms that led to ultrasounds, which led to biopsies. Fortunately that all came out fine, and I waited to make sure the billing was not a problem. That finally happened, and I went in for a visit to get my refills and then look into switching. She was remarkably warm and fuzzy and seems on top of her game, which I found slightly confusing. Then I got the letter this week that she was leaving the practice. Of course she is. No wonder she was so cheery. So, now we will see whom I am offered. Fun times. 

Welcome to my retirement.

Welcome to the first official day of my retirement .

The good news is that the severance and last check came in, in a timely manner, and a small pension kicked in today. So I am feeling a lot safer, financially. Certainly for several months.

I am waiting for the retiree and COBRA medical papers to come, so that can commence.  I got the most out of my FSA, with a little room left for straggling bills.

I am still pending a sit down with my financial advisor lady, to map out a long range plan. I don’t think I am quite ready for a  permanent vacation, but I have some time I can take to rest and to plan. I have been offered free career counseling, which I will pull the trigger on, come October.  I also have possibilities of picking up some part time underwriting work from home, from friends who have gone elsewhere.

I will miss being so valued by my team.  However, my team was partly disassembled by the jobs eliminations, mine and one of my fellow RMs, and, to my shock, my now former boss. They wanted the head of  our credit/underwriting take on his duties, with no upgrades, and she also gave notice.  They will backfill and patch the team support together, and I am hoping it will go reasonably well,  but it will not be the same. So there are  blessings in the way things came down for me.

I am not entirely certain what the next year or so will look like, but I know I will come out OK.

Onward.

Loyalty as a lost quality o

So. After nearly 24 years with the same company and division, my position has been eliminated. It seems I have become a luxury. At 64, it a tough age to be looking for a new job. It’s an awkward age, really. Old to be looking for work, and young to retire. I was going to hang in other 2, 2.5 years.  I had a plan, a good one.  But my massive employer that touts itself as inclusive, caring, careful of the environment, with all its concern about the employee experience needed to cut some costs. So I, and the oldest person in the department , and all our seniority, are out.

They’ve offered a severance package, which I can accept ( and receive if I behave myself) , so, after my remaining 30 days, I can take it and go find work, and extend my medical coverage at my own expense.  So, I am likely to survive. 

It is, however, daunting to think that nearly a quarter of a century of loyalty, hard work, and being able to roll with changes, I am out. I have been evicted from my work home, so to speak. In 30 days. No time to have a wake, to mourn, little time to figure out how to land. 

They are dangling a more junior position, at less salary, a commute away, as a possible opportunity. It would mean working without interruption, and not have to go through looking for work.  

There are a lot of hoops to jump through to get to the severance, extending medical, etc, and the above might be an easy way out. And I would be good at the new position, as described.  But. I am tired. I have been waiting for my coming vacation, and need it.  It sounds really good to rest for a couple of months and then figure it out. If only I could have waited 2 more years.  Make plans and God laughs. 

I would like peace of mind. Taking less pay with no severance isn’t all that appealing. And who knows when they would cut jobs again.  

In any case, I will get good advice and figure it out. I just really didn’t want things to change so abruptly.  I was in need of a rest, but thought it would be when I was ready. 

Ah well, the best plans of meeces and men. 

Doctor as caretaker

My medical group has been letting me down lately. I had established a comfortable relationship with my primary care physician, and my understanding of how things work with my HMO was good and workable.  She laughed at my jokes, she kept an eye on my general health, all that. If I needed something, I knew how to get through to her assistant in her office, I got my prescriptions renewed when I needed them.

Then a couple of things happened .  She became semi retired, whatever that means in the medical world, a couple of years ago. She only came in two days a week, and appointments were weeks if not months out.  I saw her PA, a lovely young lady named Jennifer .  I could get in when I needed to, things got done. Another change is that you could no longer get through directly to an office.  You had to go through a call center , leave a message , maybe hear back. Most of my prescriptions were written by my primary care doc.  Renewals meant having to time the request to land on her desk during the two days she was in, or wait a week. Too many miscommunications with my pharmacy. I scheduled my annual physical with her PA Jennifer. Had it, got my orders for a mammogram and for blood tests and all that, some of the refills I needed, with instructions to have any called to her. Great, right?

Then, when I went to renew one that I had no more refills on , and the pharmacy called me to say that they had been informed that my PA was no longer with the group, and no doctor there would do any renewals unless they had seen me. Mind you, this is after going to this group for decades. So, I made an appt., which they called and changed because the Dr I was scheduled to see decided to go to a conference the week I was scheduled. They kindly squeezed me in at the end of a day. The day I was supposed to go they called to see if I wanted to come in early. Unfortunately I work for a living. When I got there, the assistant asked me about all my prescriptions, and history and all.  Then the Dr came in and asked me all the same...after asking me why I was there.  The real answer was , “ because you made me”. In any case, she reviewed my prescriptions, asked who and why they were prescribed, had to ask me if I had been seen recently and if I got all my blood work done, and how it turned out. Not encouraging. She explained that she tried to review some stuff before she saw me, but that she had four new patients today....in the end, pretty much got the renewals with refills I needed., though the ones that they did electronically, they sent to the wrong pharmacy, which threw the Dr for a loop as she had a meeting to get to , and I was her last appt. I got written ones for two, and the others will be righted tomorrow.  I called the wrong pharmacy, myself and cancelled, which they appreciated. She wouldn’t refill one because she doesn’t trust compounding pharmacies, so we will try her substitute and see how it goes. She really thinks I should drop hormones and get on with my aging  

So mission mostly accomplished, but I am not feeling like I found a home, so to speak. I will likely look around to see if I can find a new medical group. One of the things that also changed was my medical coverage is now PPO, vs HMO. That gives me more latitude on how to proceed.

We shall see. It would be nice to feel you can rely on your doctor to know you and work with you. Darn that Jennifer the friendly PA, who moved to SF.

My latest letter to the editor.

Got published again today

It is award season, and I nominate Carl Cannon for “ best continuing attempted defense of Trump while looking for someone else to point a finger at.”  

Cannon is tireless in his ongoing campaign to defend with faint condemnation any despicable act or comment or tweet by our President .  His formula to date has been to offhandedly mention the offense, then launch into an enumeration of sins, both real and imagined, of anyone in the opposition. 

I present for your consideration his column on January 21st.   In a week full of vital issues and true offenses in word and deed by our President , Cannon spent most of his column defending him by attacking Dick Durban’s credibility as the source of disclosing Trump despicable language about less fortunate countries.  About halfway through the column he conceded that “Donald Trump has greater credibility issues than Durbin, not to mention his own trove of racially insensitive remarks, and even dumber historical references.  So, the President is not easily defended.”  Yet, Cannon, guided by the old adage that the best defense is a good offense, continues his “what- aboutism” defense by going after Durbin, Schumer, and anyone else he could dig up.  Diversion tactics.  

Cannon, in essence, buried the lead by asking , 3/4 of the way through the column, whether it is time to slow immigration.  He admits that it is hard to imagine a less productive way to start the conversation than Trump’s “outhouse “ remarks, as Trump 

“apparently did.” Apparently did. After spending the majority of his column questioning the credibility of those who accused Trump of this remark? Yet, having said this, he took those to task who criticized Trump’s utterly unacceptable language and attitude, by saying it only served to win elections, not effect policy change. So, it is the criticism of such language and bull-headed obstructionist tactics that is the issue, not a garbage-spewing self-obsessed head of state who, though famous for touting his deal- making, throws a monkey wrench in the works of any potential negotiation by his blustering outbursts?  Good to know.  

Elise Power

Garden Grove, CA 

714-534-3769 

Sent from my iPad

A lump of coal

My latest letter to the OC Register, in regard to the recently passed tax reform bill:


It would appear that Carl Cannon took Christmas Eve off from his column. I presume this because it appeared to have been ghost written by the current Administration. Like the Trump White House and most Republican leaders, it perpetuates the myth that the benefit of the new tax bill for middle class Americans will be proved by their 2018 paychecks. Seeing more take-home pay due to lower withholding does not prove anything except a lower withholding tax table. The true proof of the impact to a tax payer’s bottom line will come when they see how they are affected by all the changes to allowable deductions, for those who itemize ( which are many more than the public would be led to believe).  Once all the newly removed or reduced deductions are applied, and compared to the increased standard deduction, the standard deduction may prove the better choice, although it may well be less than prior years’ itemized deductions.  Thus, adjusted gross income may end up being higher than they were taxed on before, sharply reducing or eliminating any of the much touted benefit. 

This will be proved out when 2018 taxes are filed in 2019, conveniently after the 2018 elections. 

In addition, the reduced personal rates expire after yet another election, so all can expect their taxes to go up,  no matter what the possible current benefit. The corporate reductions remain in perpetuity, which remains the gift that keeps on giving.  

The lump of coal in the stocking of the American public will become even more evident, once legislators whose duplicity will not be found out until after the 2018 elections, begin to balance the newly deepened deficit  on the back of those who likely need it most.  The poor, the ill, the elderly. 

Happy New Year, America. 

Elise Power
Garden Grove, CA
714 534 3769 




Sent from my iPad