It is beyond my ability to truly wrap my mind around the sense of outrage that has arisen against people who dare to express their own outrage at injustice or unfair treatment, or , more especially, systemic inequality.
Black Lives Matter rose up over the sheer fact that a young black man is several times more likely than a white one to die in traffic stop. In what may appear to be a stand off, it is shoot first, ask questions later. A black man selling cds illegally dies for " resisting" , a white man who murders in cold blood is taken alive. A thousand different examples. The policeman says they had reason to believe the person had a gun. There was no gun, but they " believed " there was one. Thousands of daily examples of men stopped for being black in the wrong neighborhoods. It happens every day, and someone had enough. Black Lives Matter. Because they didn't say the unspoken " too" or the words , " just as much as white ones", the critics could not wait to say that ALL Lives Matter. Well of course they do, Einstein. That is the point. They all SHOULD, but it is obvious that in many cases black lives matter less than others. The idea was, in essence, how dare these people declare themselves ( more ) significant? If only they would behave, these things wouldn't happen. Uh HUH.
Likewise, a rising up of women in their outrage in the despicable treatment of women as objects for their use by Trump, and men like him, gave rise to the reaction, that , well why didn't they say so before? Seriously? In a world and a Presidential race where a crude, insulting, angry, arrogant jerk who makes fun of the disabled, catagorizes women by their looks, has bragged he can do what he wants because he is a star, and threatens to sue anyone who speaks against him, and claims media bias, while his female opponent is told to smile more, be less practiced and polished, made fun of for her laugh and her pantsuits, is called "nasty" when she answers back, are we supposed to believe that this is not still a male centric society ?
I do not know a single woman who has not experienced some form of sexism, if not out and out sexual assault. In my early career, I was asked why I should receive a requested transfer since I was engaged to be married, and would probably get pregnant and quit? At a later job, when told that my ambition was to be in Marketing, the HR guy laughed and said all those people were downtown, and that they were all men. Two later female bosses felt the need to be tough and heartless, because " you had to be a man in a man's world". And the examples go on and on, well into the present day. The casual cat calls in the street, the comments on their bodies, the unwanted attention on public transportation, the " smile, sweetheart, be nice" the comments on appearance that is fair game for female, never for males. Women who call out their aggressor are accused of being attention-seeking, trying to cause trouble, character assassination.
Trump is dismissive and insulting about women, yet claims that " no one respects women more " than he does. How he does not spontaneously combust when he says that? Or hit by a celestial lightening strike. His bragging about what being" a star" allowed him to get away with spoke volumes about his attitude toward women. Anyone who dismisses it as "just talk" misses the point. Women are not playthings, nor are they property to be disrespected in such a manner.
All this to say, that, in response to the growing legion of women coming forward, many ask why now? Why not then? And, the response that makes me want to throw things, that the world is turning on men . "These women" are conducting a war on men, are ganging up on the poor darlings.
Ahem, pointing out that being white and being male ( and being rich in many cases) gives one protection and, more often than not, advantage, in this world, is not waging war with those with the advantage. Nor is decrying unfair or downright criminal behavior "publicity seeking".
The coming forward of women to support the stories that his own taped words outlined ( and later tried to claim was just " locker room talk") is not a conspiracy. And Selma Hayek's, who has nothing to gain by it, coming forward to describe her own experience, is not a attention-seeking behavior. Why now? Because it is being denied now, and because it needs saying now. And because woman are feeling safe enough to come forward now.
In America, in this time, it should not need be said that our black citizens ( criminal or suspects or innocent) should have the same odds of survival as whites citizens. It should not need be said that women's bodies are their own, and back the hell off. But as long as it still happening ( which it is, no matter how deeply you bury your head in the sand) we will keep making noise, and refuse to take it any more. Just because it doesn't happen in your life, doesn't mean it isn't out there. It isn't war on those it doesn't happen to, it is war on those who do it.
Sunday, October 30, 2016
I don't know what to title this one.
It is beyond my ability to truly wrap my mind around the sense of outrage that has arisen against people who dare to express their own outrage at injustice or unfair treatment, or , more especially, systemic inequality.
Black Lives Matter rose up over the sheer fact that a young black man is several times more likely than a white one to die in traffic stop. In what may appear to be a stand off, it is shoot first, ask questions later. A black man selling cds illegally dies for " resisting" , a white man who murders in cold blood is taken alive. A thousand different examples. The policeman says they had reason to believe the person had a gun. There was no gun, but they " believed " there was one. Thousands of daily examples of men stopped for being black in the wrong neighborhoods. It happens every day, and someone had enough. Black Lives Matter. Because they didn't say the unspoken " too" or the words , " just as much as white ones", the critics could not wait to say that ALL Lives Matter. Well of course they do, Einstein. That is the point. They all SHOULD, but it is obvious that in many cases black lives matter less than others. The idea was, in essence, how dare these people declare themselves ( more ) significant? If only they would behave, these things wouldn't happen. Uh HUH.
Likewise, a rising up of women in their outrage in the despicable treatment of women as objects for their use by Trump, and men like him, gave rise to the reaction, that , well why didn't they say so before? Seriously? In a world and a Presidential race where a crude, insulting, angry, arrogant jerk who makes fun of the disabled, catagorizes women by their looks, has bragged he can do what he wants because he is a star, and threatens to sue anyone who speaks against him, and claims media bias, while his female opponent is told to smile more, be less practiced and polished, made fun of for her laugh and her pantsuits, is called "nasty" when she answers back, are we supposed to believe that this is not still a male centric society ?
I do not know a single woman who has not experienced some form of sexism, if not out and out sexual assault. In my early career, I was asked why I should receive a requested transfer since I was engaged to be married, and would probably get pregnant and quit? At a later job, when told that my ambition was to be in Marketing, the HR guy laughed and said all those people were downtown, and that they were all men. Two later female bosses felt the need to be tough and heartless, because " you had to be a man in a man's world". And the examples go on and on, well into the present day. The casual cat calls in the street, the comments on their bodies, the unwanted attention on public transportation, the " smile, sweetheart, be nice" the comments on appearance that is fair game for female, never for males. Women who call out their aggressor are accused of being attention-seeking, trying to cause trouble, character assassination.
Trump is dismissive and insulting about women, yet claims that " no one respects women more " than he does. How he does not spontaneously combust when he says that? Or hit by a celestial lightening strike. His bragging about what being" a star" allowed him to get away with spoke volumes about his attitude toward women. Anyone who dismisses it as "just talk" misses the point. Women are not playthings, nor are they property to be disrespected in such a manner.
All this to say, that, in response to the growing legion of women coming forward, many ask why now? Why not then? And, the response that makes me want to throw things, that the world is turning on men . "These women" are conducting a war on men, are ganging up on the poor darlings.
Ahem, pointing out that being white and being male ( and being rich in many cases) gives one protection and, more often than not, advantage, in this world, is not waging war with those with the advantage. Nor is decrying unfair or downright criminal behavior "publicity seeking".
The coming forward of women to support the stories that his own taped words outlined ( and later tried to claim was just " locker room talk") is not a conspiracy. And Selma Hayek's, who has nothing to gain by it, coming forward to describe her own experience, is not a attention-seeking behavior. Why now? Because it is being denied now, and because it needs saying now. And because woman are feeling safe enough to come forward now.
In America, in this time, it should not need be said that our black citizens ( criminal or suspects or innocent) should have the same odds of survival as whites citizens. It should not need be said that women's bodies are their own, and back the hell off. But as long as it still happening ( which it is, no matter how deeply you bury your head in the sand) we will keep making noise, and refuse to take it any more. Just because it doesn't happen in your life, doesn't mean it isn't out there. It isn't war on those it doesn't happen to, it is war on those who do it.
Black Lives Matter rose up over the sheer fact that a young black man is several times more likely than a white one to die in traffic stop. In what may appear to be a stand off, it is shoot first, ask questions later. A black man selling cds illegally dies for " resisting" , a white man who murders in cold blood is taken alive. A thousand different examples. The policeman says they had reason to believe the person had a gun. There was no gun, but they " believed " there was one. Thousands of daily examples of men stopped for being black in the wrong neighborhoods. It happens every day, and someone had enough. Black Lives Matter. Because they didn't say the unspoken " too" or the words , " just as much as white ones", the critics could not wait to say that ALL Lives Matter. Well of course they do, Einstein. That is the point. They all SHOULD, but it is obvious that in many cases black lives matter less than others. The idea was, in essence, how dare these people declare themselves ( more ) significant? If only they would behave, these things wouldn't happen. Uh HUH.
Likewise, a rising up of women in their outrage in the despicable treatment of women as objects for their use by Trump, and men like him, gave rise to the reaction, that , well why didn't they say so before? Seriously? In a world and a Presidential race where a crude, insulting, angry, arrogant jerk who makes fun of the disabled, catagorizes women by their looks, has bragged he can do what he wants because he is a star, and threatens to sue anyone who speaks against him, and claims media bias, while his female opponent is told to smile more, be less practiced and polished, made fun of for her laugh and her pantsuits, is called "nasty" when she answers back, are we supposed to believe that this is not still a male centric society ?
I do not know a single woman who has not experienced some form of sexism, if not out and out sexual assault. In my early career, I was asked why I should receive a requested transfer since I was engaged to be married, and would probably get pregnant and quit? At a later job, when told that my ambition was to be in Marketing, the HR guy laughed and said all those people were downtown, and that they were all men. Two later female bosses felt the need to be tough and heartless, because " you had to be a man in a man's world". And the examples go on and on, well into the present day. The casual cat calls in the street, the comments on their bodies, the unwanted attention on public transportation, the " smile, sweetheart, be nice" the comments on appearance that is fair game for female, never for males. Women who call out their aggressor are accused of being attention-seeking, trying to cause trouble, character assassination.
Trump is dismissive and insulting about women, yet claims that " no one respects women more " than he does. How he does not spontaneously combust when he says that? Or hit by a celestial lightening strike. His bragging about what being" a star" allowed him to get away with spoke volumes about his attitude toward women. Anyone who dismisses it as "just talk" misses the point. Women are not playthings, nor are they property to be disrespected in such a manner.
All this to say, that, in response to the growing legion of women coming forward, many ask why now? Why not then? And, the response that makes me want to throw things, that the world is turning on men . "These women" are conducting a war on men, are ganging up on the poor darlings.
Ahem, pointing out that being white and being male ( and being rich in many cases) gives one protection and, more often than not, advantage, in this world, is not waging war with those with the advantage. Nor is decrying unfair or downright criminal behavior "publicity seeking".
The coming forward of women to support the stories that his own taped words outlined ( and later tried to claim was just " locker room talk") is not a conspiracy. And Selma Hayek's, who has nothing to gain by it, coming forward to describe her own experience, is not a attention-seeking behavior. Why now? Because it is being denied now, and because it needs saying now. And because woman are feeling safe enough to come forward now.
In America, in this time, it should not need be said that our black citizens ( criminal or suspects or innocent) should have the same odds of survival as whites citizens. It should not need be said that women's bodies are their own, and back the hell off. But as long as it still happening ( which it is, no matter how deeply you bury your head in the sand) we will keep making noise, and refuse to take it any more. Just because it doesn't happen in your life, doesn't mean it isn't out there. It isn't war on those it doesn't happen to, it is war on those who do it.
Saturday, July 9, 2016
A Summer Saturday
I forced myself to get up early this Saturday, in order to watch my beloved Wimbledon. It has been a very long week at work, with long days and impossible deadlines, and more tasks than any one person can do. I am weary of others telling me, "well, I am out of the office (on vacation, on the road, at a conference...) so I need you to handle this". Meanwhile I have a stack of things that must be done before I go on vacation, that I despair of getting done, and have no idea who or how to train someone to be the back up for the backup girl. See job description, " maid of all work," and then some.
So, I got up, tired, and watched the Women's final ( you go, Serena!) and tried to perk up. Then the Men's Doubles( no Bryan brothers, sigh.) and mostly felt like I just wanted to go back to sleep. Two days off from work means I don't have to answer the phone or email, but I need to get a couple of work things done in order to be able to face a week of crushing volume and short deadlines.
And the world is not a pretty place this week. Two young black men were shot by police in, to say the very least, questionable circumstances, which were videoed. Not surprisingly, protests rose up. One in Dallas was seemingly under control under the carefully watchful eyes of the Dallas police. Then some idiot ( not the right word, it will come to me) started shooting the Dallas police force. As if that helps police all over the country be less likely to shoot first and ask questions later of the next black young men they stop. It is so very sad( again, not a strong enough word) that families of color have to instruct their sons on how to carefully react to a police stop, however unjustified, so that they may live. And I am infuriated that some knee-jerk jerk's first reaction is that if they only had followed direction, if only they were respectful, and on and on, ad nauseum. Really! You think not following directions is the issue here?
I try to remind myself that my problems are not life threatening, and the state of the world is something I can do my best to change by my attitude, by my words, by who I elect.
Then I made myself some strong tea and French toast and ate my spirit up a notch. And again remind myself that my personal problems are not life and death, that I am in position to make a dent. Not a huge dent, but a dent. By my words, spoken and written , by my support of those who can make a bigger difference than I can on my own. Certainly by speaking out against the hate and fear. Even if it is only with my letters to the editor. Someone will see them, maybe someone will think.
One starfish at a time.
So, I got up, tired, and watched the Women's final ( you go, Serena!) and tried to perk up. Then the Men's Doubles( no Bryan brothers, sigh.) and mostly felt like I just wanted to go back to sleep. Two days off from work means I don't have to answer the phone or email, but I need to get a couple of work things done in order to be able to face a week of crushing volume and short deadlines.
And the world is not a pretty place this week. Two young black men were shot by police in, to say the very least, questionable circumstances, which were videoed. Not surprisingly, protests rose up. One in Dallas was seemingly under control under the carefully watchful eyes of the Dallas police. Then some idiot ( not the right word, it will come to me) started shooting the Dallas police force. As if that helps police all over the country be less likely to shoot first and ask questions later of the next black young men they stop. It is so very sad( again, not a strong enough word) that families of color have to instruct their sons on how to carefully react to a police stop, however unjustified, so that they may live. And I am infuriated that some knee-jerk jerk's first reaction is that if they only had followed direction, if only they were respectful, and on and on, ad nauseum. Really! You think not following directions is the issue here?
I try to remind myself that my problems are not life threatening, and the state of the world is something I can do my best to change by my attitude, by my words, by who I elect.
Then I made myself some strong tea and French toast and ate my spirit up a notch. And again remind myself that my personal problems are not life and death, that I am in position to make a dent. Not a huge dent, but a dent. By my words, spoken and written , by my support of those who can make a bigger difference than I can on my own. Certainly by speaking out against the hate and fear. Even if it is only with my letters to the editor. Someone will see them, maybe someone will think.
One starfish at a time.
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Mothers Day and many more
I am looking forward to this Mothers Day and seeing my Mom, who is always so happy to see me. She is 84, 85 in December, and I know she is not immortal, but neither can I imagine my world without her physical presence.
I am reminded that the last Mothers Day that my father was alive, was one in which we had no idea that he would die of cancer before the year over, indeed that by Fathers Day, we knew that we would likely lose him before the next one, which we did. He was gone by October, just after his 75th birthday.
I will go to this Mothers Day aware that it could be the last I have with her, and fully expecting that she will live a very long time. But appreciating every celebration.
I am reminded that the last Mothers Day that my father was alive, was one in which we had no idea that he would die of cancer before the year over, indeed that by Fathers Day, we knew that we would likely lose him before the next one, which we did. He was gone by October, just after his 75th birthday.
I will go to this Mothers Day aware that it could be the last I have with her, and fully expecting that she will live a very long time. But appreciating every celebration.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Vengeance, one post at a time.
Old high school friends have found me on Facebook, via my connection with other old high school friends with whom I am also otherwise friends as well. They made friend requests, and seem happy to have found me, so accept I do. They are sweet to me, and "like" my posts, and all that. The downside is that a number of the more recently acquired friends come from the extreme opposite of my politics. They do not post overtly political things, which is good. They do, however" like" and comment on a lot of posts and pages (which therefore pop up on my FB newsfeed) that make me grind my teeth. So I either post a no doubt unwanted comment, or block that page going forward.
I am so verrrrrry tired of those with extremely conservative views who seem to be boiling out their hate and disrespect for our President. The names, the degradation of any all things to do with him and his wife absolutely dismay me. I had a ton of disagreements with the most recent President Bush, but calling out his every move, his every blink, calling his wife names? I have never seen such a level of disgust for two human beings. I am sure they are considered deserving of same by those who pour it out, but so much of it is knee jerk. The worst is thought first, because ," well, it's HIM, no wonder!"
Many have said that it is racial. It is hard to imagine what he could have done or been that would cause the entire cadre of the Republican incumbent House to swear from day one that their goal was for him to fail. A man well spoken, well educated, calm and gracious in manner met with so much utter disdain before he could move in. A mere "community organizer" with "no experience" (senator, anyone?) with a foreign father, "Muslim ties". And Trump is a viable candidate who is " refreshing?"
You have to wonder how much of our President's offense was not only being of the opposing party, but being well spoken ( who does he think he is?) , willing to admit America has flaws ("let's make America great again!...well, really, let's just find someone who will claim is is flawless and the best, no matter what it does, because to do otherwise is treasonous." ) and , black. Trifecta!
Do you think my conservative old high school friends would understand if I unfriended them just so I can't see the garbage they "like?" Or shall I get my revenge by sharing and liking overtly liberal posts just to aggravate their friends? Vengeance, thy name is Facebook.
I am so verrrrrry tired of those with extremely conservative views who seem to be boiling out their hate and disrespect for our President. The names, the degradation of any all things to do with him and his wife absolutely dismay me. I had a ton of disagreements with the most recent President Bush, but calling out his every move, his every blink, calling his wife names? I have never seen such a level of disgust for two human beings. I am sure they are considered deserving of same by those who pour it out, but so much of it is knee jerk. The worst is thought first, because ," well, it's HIM, no wonder!"
Many have said that it is racial. It is hard to imagine what he could have done or been that would cause the entire cadre of the Republican incumbent House to swear from day one that their goal was for him to fail. A man well spoken, well educated, calm and gracious in manner met with so much utter disdain before he could move in. A mere "community organizer" with "no experience" (senator, anyone?) with a foreign father, "Muslim ties". And Trump is a viable candidate who is " refreshing?"
You have to wonder how much of our President's offense was not only being of the opposing party, but being well spoken ( who does he think he is?) , willing to admit America has flaws ("let's make America great again!...well, really, let's just find someone who will claim is is flawless and the best, no matter what it does, because to do otherwise is treasonous." ) and , black. Trifecta!
Do you think my conservative old high school friends would understand if I unfriended them just so I can't see the garbage they "like?" Or shall I get my revenge by sharing and liking overtly liberal posts just to aggravate their friends? Vengeance, thy name is Facebook.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
A notice to my fellow Christians
I am posting this here, instead of Facebook, because I am not quite sure what the consequences would be, nor if I am ready to reap them. However I just have to say:
Those of my Christian friends who feel that the recent Supreme Court ruling declaring the right of same sex couples to marry is a blow against religious freedom: do not expect sympathy or support from me if you post about your fear that the great Gay Agenda will cause long lines in front of your church ready to sue your pastor or church if you refuse to host their wedding. I also do not need your patriotic posts reminding me of the Christian faith of the Founding Fathers.
I also do not need posts of pastors explaining to all of good faith to bear with this challenge and love the sinner, if not the sin. How very good of you to lump in a person's sexuality with all those other amoral sins. I sure all my gay friends and family will rush to church now that you have explained it is just another sin to be cleansed of.
Lastly, if you want to drive me from the church, please post that pastor's 40 questions to ask we wrong headed Christians to demonstrate to us chapter and verse why homosexuality is against God's Law and Christ's teachings. I am not interested in a Biblical throw down. What do you really expect the result to be? I will say, oh silly me, there are those verses that prove that all these people are wrong and should either switch sides or be celebate...and I am to support them?
I am a Christian because I believe His death saved me by Grace. I believe that to be the central teaching of the Bible. If you persist with quoting me chapter and verse as to why I should turn my back on same sex couples, and fear or undermine their right to marry, be careful what you wish for. I will have to say that I reject the teaching of the Bible and therefore be an unchurched Christian if there is such a thing
What I really want to say is. Get the hell over it, and get out of the way. Cluck and tsk amongst yourselves if you must. But if you persist in doing your best to convince me that I am not good Christian if I accept homosexuality and the rights of gays to marriage, then maybe I need to leave the church as you define it.
Those of my Christian friends who feel that the recent Supreme Court ruling declaring the right of same sex couples to marry is a blow against religious freedom: do not expect sympathy or support from me if you post about your fear that the great Gay Agenda will cause long lines in front of your church ready to sue your pastor or church if you refuse to host their wedding. I also do not need your patriotic posts reminding me of the Christian faith of the Founding Fathers.
I also do not need posts of pastors explaining to all of good faith to bear with this challenge and love the sinner, if not the sin. How very good of you to lump in a person's sexuality with all those other amoral sins. I sure all my gay friends and family will rush to church now that you have explained it is just another sin to be cleansed of.
Lastly, if you want to drive me from the church, please post that pastor's 40 questions to ask we wrong headed Christians to demonstrate to us chapter and verse why homosexuality is against God's Law and Christ's teachings. I am not interested in a Biblical throw down. What do you really expect the result to be? I will say, oh silly me, there are those verses that prove that all these people are wrong and should either switch sides or be celebate...and I am to support them?
I am a Christian because I believe His death saved me by Grace. I believe that to be the central teaching of the Bible. If you persist with quoting me chapter and verse as to why I should turn my back on same sex couples, and fear or undermine their right to marry, be careful what you wish for. I will have to say that I reject the teaching of the Bible and therefore be an unchurched Christian if there is such a thing
What I really want to say is. Get the hell over it, and get out of the way. Cluck and tsk amongst yourselves if you must. But if you persist in doing your best to convince me that I am not good Christian if I accept homosexuality and the rights of gays to marriage, then maybe I need to leave the church as you define it.
Sunday, May 17, 2015
Mother's Day and other maternal rewards.
Just about the time I was feeling sorry for myself that my daughters live 1000 and 3000 miles from me, and would not be near for Mother's Day, lovely flowers arrived. They were accompanied by a sweet note wishing a great day from " way too far away." Same daughter made a touching post to Instagram about her having sympathy for all the rest of the world ( with the exception of her sister) who cannot claim me as mother.
My other daughter included in her ( handwritten no less) thank you for her birthday gifts a thank you for me being me and being a great supportive understanding Mom. She said when she thought of me and how she would likely grow up much like me, she was all right with that.
I wanted to get my superhero cape out of mothballs.
These are things you hope for. That your children not only love you back, but think that you were a good mother to them. Praise like that will take you through a lot of worry and concern that comes with the role.
My other daughter included in her ( handwritten no less) thank you for her birthday gifts a thank you for me being me and being a great supportive understanding Mom. She said when she thought of me and how she would likely grow up much like me, she was all right with that.
I wanted to get my superhero cape out of mothballs.
These are things you hope for. That your children not only love you back, but think that you were a good mother to them. Praise like that will take you through a lot of worry and concern that comes with the role.
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