self examination

is highly overrated.

Do nice guys finish last?

I suppose that it depends on the finishing line in question. In the court of public opinion , or at least one's  immediate public, the answer might well be no. Not last in the hearts of those you have worked with,for and in the best interest of. Steadfastness,loyalty, responsiveness , advocacy, are all valued.  However, they are not enough. Being MLP ( Most Loved Player) is not the same as MVP. In the end, the numbers matter. Too bad that scoring assists, like they do in basketball, does not have the same value in the business world. You gotta score your own, or you will finish out of the money.  Or be traded.

Finishing first ( or at least not last) and also happening to be a nice guy means you can look yourself in the mirror, and not just be proud of your success, but satisfied with your true worth.  So, I suppose,that knowing your true worth is not truly finishing last, but I do wish it was enough.

When all is said and done, nice is nice, but it isn't enough. Less than nice is OK by most, if you produce the desired numbers.

The "radicalization" of the OC Register

The opinion section of the above named newspaper never fails to amuse. The new owners have been giving somewhat greater space to other than the oh so right of right opinions of the paper's history. A few more left of center letters in the letters section, even actual opinion pieces, heaven help us. I have seen my own opinion reflected there, which is that of relief of seeing a few more positions closer to my own. I also have seen those letters which state that if the reader wanted to see "that kind" of opinion or coverage, they could read the LA Times, and thereby threaten to stop subscribing. That is the part that amuses, since I have more than once thought I should cancel the Register, if only for the sake of my blood pressure. 

Now that they have actually begun to balance their coverage, Lord knows we can't tolerate that sort of thing, right?

Nothing to fear but fear itself

I am under the impression that my job is in jeopardy. This impression has been hanging over my head  for over a year now. My boss was kind enough to further impress upon me the fact that my production numbers this year were "critical" , as said numbers were a point of focus this year. Having had aforementioned sword of Damocles over my head for the last many months, my nerves did not thank him for the reminder.

I tend to get , to understate the case, distracted by such concerns. I know that worrying will not help me do the things I need to do, but worry I nonetheless often do.

I worry that after so many years in my line of work that it would be difficult to get reemployed, I worry that my age is a factor, and that my health insurance goes with my job, etc etc etc.

Tonight, in preparing for the coming week's work (on the weekend, on my own time) I was organizing some paperwork and found a folder of recent policy memos. There are a ton. We seem to recreate policy and lay a paper trail monthly at least, lately. My job responsibilities have become deeper and wider than ever. In looking at all the policy memos ad infinitum I had the fleeting thought of "so fire me already," and the thought that it might even be a relief.

I don't really want to leave this job of so many years, and all the relationships, all the long experience. That would be a genuine loss. But that moment of imagined relief gave me perspective. Maybe not doing this until I retire might just be survivable.

I am going to try to keep that perspective so as not to work with a sense of doom.  Nothing to fear, but fear itself, said FDR? My current mantras all seem to be from WWII leaders. My shelves are adorned with Sir Winston's best. "When you are going through hell, keep going." And my favorite, "Never, Never, NEVER give up. "

Words to live by, and to survive by.

What this election is really all about.

I am so very tired of this election being represented as being about The Democrats wanting to take your hard earned money and give it to others who do not work, do not pay taxes and who are living off you with a sense of entitlement.

It is NOT just about the money, stupid!  It is about the RIGHTS that many in the Republican party want to take away from other because they do not believe in them.  The planks in the Republican platform that seek to outlaw abortion or prevent gay marriage are not acceptable to me. If it is your religious belief, then make those decisions for your own life. Stay out of the private lives of others. And don't give me that Sandra Fluke and all of you entitlement babies want " us" to pay for your sexual freedom crap.  We are not talking about who pays for these rights . We are talking about a party that wants to outlaw them.  Not on my watch.

Nevertheless and other mind wanderings

One of the things that I amuse myself with from time to time is the creation of new rock band names, and clever names for coffee places. Daily Grind and Perk U up are taken, as are good ones for Church run ones like Higher Grounds, Holy Grounds, and He-brews. I really love that last one.

I like band names like Sixpence None the Richer... literary sorts. Tonight I thought of Nevertheless, but it is taken. A definition of nevertheless includes "notwithstanding"  so there's a thought. Or perhaps None the less, but that borders on theft from None the Richer, don't you think? I will come up with a good one. Not Strawberry Alarm Clock or Lovin' Spoonful for me. oooh how about "Actually?" I could always annoy my mother and other sticklers (including me) with Irregardless, or Very Unique.

On coffee place names: From the Grounds Up?  Caffination Fascination?  eh...  Have a cuppa? Hubba cuppa? Hill o beans? It's Bean too long..argh. Brew 4 U?  Cafe Cofee? Hmm beans, grounds, grind, Grounds for ....? On what grounds? Daily espresso (taken) B and O espresso (Seattle) ...Cafe Tia lise? Cafe today...Au lait?  Ah well, I will keep on thinking. Power Howz? Powerhowz Cafe?

Ok , enough for now. I will add to this when I come up with the best ones.

This has been sitting in drafts for a cat's age. I came up with Working Theory tonight. as in "well the working theory is.."  I like it for a band name. I should look it up to see if anyone is using it. I know that the production company that produced Love Actually was Working Title , but I am hoping mine is an original thought.

I can dream can't I? More later .

The Power of Laughter, and of memory...

There was a commercial on tonight. I am not sure what it's theme had to do the Power of German Engineering, but it caught me. It was a lot of different people, ranging in age from toothless baby to toothless elder, all dissolved in laughter. It was contagious and caught me off guard with a memory of my father and I, collapsed in helpless laughter over a ridiculously silly joke. I remember my mother shaking her head in amused disbelief as we literally rolled on the floor, trying to stop while we held our stomachs and gasped for breath.  I was going to say that I could not remember the last time that I was caught up like that, but then I remembered Liz and I , out of control about another ridiculous story. Jen shakes her head at us. Maybe that kind of shared hilarity is genetic. It is a cherished memory of my father for me. I sure hope my kids will remember that kind of silliness, along with all the other parts of my parental legacy.